Culture & Traditions

"Mano Po"
In the Philippines, children are taught to respect their elders. One way of expressing respect is by "kissing" the right hand of an older person when you greet them.
"Mano po" (pronounced mah-noh poh) refers to a physical gesture of taking the hand of an elder and bringing it towards your forehead. This is a sign of respect for the elder and is usually done at the point of greeting or farewell. Children are expected to perform this gesture towards adult relatives & adult family friends. Failure to perform "mano po" would be considered as disrespectful.

"Kuya" or "Ate"
The Filipino culture is very big on respect. The older an individual is, the more they call for respect. The term 'kuya' (pronounced koo-yah) refers to an older male person; it means 'big brother.' Its verbal usage indicates that you respect the older male and recognize the difference in age. The feminine form is 'ate' (pronounced ah-teh) which is directed towards an older female person; it means 'big sister.' Children are encouraged to use these terms with their older siblings. Adults can use these terms to address friends or co-workers regardless of whether or not they are truly related. It simply demonstrates a form of respect for the older individual.

Food at every gathering.
Filipinos express their hospitality friendship through the serving of food. Whether it be a grand party or just an informal meeting. The more grandiose the cuisine, the more 'love' they are trying to convey to those at the gathering. Instead of asking, 'how are you?' Filipinos will ask, "have you eaten yet?

Take your shoes off when entering a Filipino home.
By taking your shoes off when entering a Filipino home, you are conveying utmost respect towards the owners of the property. You are showing them that you care about their property and have the desire to maintain its cleanliness. More modern Filipinos who have tile or wood floors may not expect you to take your shoes off because of the coldness of the floor, however, if you do adhere this custom, then you will surely make a favorable impression.

You must greet everyone "hello" at every meeting and say "good-bye" at each farewell. For anyone present, you can either offer a 'mano po,' a kiss on the cheek, or offer eye contact coupled with raising your eyebrows to those you are unable to physically reach or those you do not know very well. Failure to offer a greeting or farewell would indicate that you are disrespectful, and a snob. So, be attentive to those present as you do not want to offend anyone.

Hellos and Goodbyes cannot be taken for granted.
Filipinos communicate less verbally than their American counter-parts and it is clearly demonstrated in the Filipino quirks discussed here. The minimal verbiage in Filipino Culture could be best explained through a silent adherence to the common expression: "actions speak louder than words."

"SERENADE"

During the old times and in the rural areas of the Philippines, Filipino men would make harana (serenade)the women at night and sing songs of love and affection. This is basically a Spanish influence. The man is usually accompanied by his close friends that provide moral support for the guy, apart from singing with him.
A traditional dalagang Pilipina (Filipinpa maiden) is someone who is mahinhin (modest, shy, with good upbringing, well-mannered) and does not show her admirer that she is also in love with him immediately. She is as well not supposed to go out on a date with several men. The opposite of mahinhin is malandi (flirt), which is taboo in Filipino culture as far as courtship is concerned.

"COURTSHIP"

In Philippine culture, courtship is far more subdued and indirect unlike in some Western societies. A man who is interested in courting a woman has to be discreet and friendly at first, in order not to be seen as too presko or mayabang (aggressive or too presumptuous). Friendly dates are often the starting point, often with a group of other friends. Later, couples may go out on their own, but this is still to be done discreetly. If the couple has decided to come out in the open about their romance, they will tell their family and friends as well.

In the Philippines, if a man wants to be taken seriously by a woman, he has to visit the latter’s family and introduce himself formally to the parents of the girl. It is rather inappropriate to court a woman, and formalize the relationship without informing the parents of the girl. It is always expected that the guy must show his face to the girl’s family. And if a guy wants to be acceptable to the girl’s family, he has to give pasalubong (gifts) every time he drops by her family’s house. It is said that in the Philippines, courting a Filipina means courting her family as well.

In courting a Filipina, the metaphor often used is that of playing baseball. The man is said to reach ‘first base’ if the girl accepts his proposal to go out on a date for the first time. Thereafter, going out on several dates is like reaching the second and third bases. A ‘home-run’ is one where the girl formally accepts the man’s love, and they become magkasintahan (from sinta, love), a term for boyfriend-girlfriend relationship.
Filipino women are expected to be pakipot (playing hard to get) because it is seen as an appropriate behavior in a courtship dance. By being pakipot, the girl tells the man that he has to work hard to win her love. It is also one way by which the Filipina will be cerable to measure the sinity of her admirer. Some courtships could last years before the woman accepts the man’s love.

"VISITING"

Alam niyo ba kung bakit tayong mga pinoy ang isa sa mga pinakamasayang nilalang sa buong Asya yun ay dahil sa kakaibang uri ng pagpapahayag at pagpaparamdam ng pag-ibig ng mga pinoy sa kanilang mga “parkner” o mga minamahal. Oo, ibang-iba ang romansang pinoy! Makikita mo kung ga-ano ka-sweet o karomantiko ang mga Filipino. Dadalhan ka nito ng rosas o kaya naman e tsokolate. May dala pa itong awiting kundiman o kaya naman modern na love song kahit hindi magandang pakinggan. Mga baduy na words katulad ng “ikaw ang lahat sa akin” at “you complete me” na masarap pakinggan kung ikaw ang pinagsasabihan.

Isa pa ay may ugali ang pinoy na pananatilihin ang relasyon kahit sa kabila ng mga problema. Aayusin ito hanggang sa makakaya pa at kung mapag-uusapan ay gagawan ng mga solusyon. Dahil para sa pusong pinoy, importante ang pagsasamasama ng pamilya. Ikaw sa tingin mo bakit unique ang pusong pinoy?
Panliligaw or ligawan is the Tagalog terms for courtship, which in some parts of the Tagalog-speaking regions is synonymous with pandidiga or digahan (from Spanish diga, ‘to say, express’). Manliligaw is the one who courts a girl; nililigawan is the one who is being courted. “Pangulitawo” in Visayas especially in Cebuanos means to court someone.

"PAMANHIKAN"

Ang pamanhikan ay napakagandang kaugalian na pamana ng ating mga ninuno. Ito ay ginagawa bago ikasal ang magkasintahan. Napakahalaga nito dahil dito pormal na hihingin ng kalalakihan ang kamay ng mga kababaihan bago idaos ang kanilang kasal. Napag-uusapan ng magkabilang panig ang pagtatakda ng araw ng kasal kung saan lahat ay nasa ayos na para sa preparasyon ng kasal. Napakahalaga din nito dahil nagkakakilanlan mabuti ang dalawang partidos. After a long courtship, if the couple later decides to get married, there is the Filipino tradition of pamamanhikan (pamalaye in Cebuano term), where the man and his parents visit the woman’s family and ask for her parent blessings to marry their daughter. It is also an occasion for the parents of the woman to get to know the parents of the man.
 During pamamanhikan, (pamalaye in Cebuano) the man and his parents bring some pasalubong (gifts). It is also at this time that the wedding date is formally set, and the couple becomes engaged to get married.

The Pamanhikan is a popular pre-wedding tradition among Filipinos. It probably dated back from the Spanish era (I really wouldn’t know), but regardless of which, it’s still being practiced today be it sometimes informally. When I say “informally,” I meant that there are quite a number of variations done on the Pamanhikan of today—it has somehow already adapted to the modern times, and modern day of living.

"ACQUINTANCE OF BOTH FAMILIES"

Back then, Pamanhikan is the Filipino pre-wedding tradition where the families of the bride and the groom meet and plan the wedding. The romantic representation of this tradition would be the groom and his family formally asking the bride’s family for her hand in marriage. On a practical note, the wedding budget, the guestlist, and all other sorts of important details are discussed during this meet-up. The bride’s family hosts this event, and traditionally the groom’s family brings a gift for their hosts.